Well, Christmas really is just around the corner, and the same angst and prejudice that has haunted this special day over the past 18 years has returned to visit me again, for what i’m hoping will be my last christmas as an angsty teen.
Growing up i despised christmas.
Sure I appreciated that chistmas isn’t about me but about God, but there was all this fuss about christmas and how it should be celebrated as a family in a family, with those you love.
Well, My sister was off with her Boyfriend, my brother with his girlfriend, mum with dad and anna with…wait, who was anna with?
she was with her stuffed toys and unwrapped christmas presents, all alone either watching movies or trying not to cry in her bedroom…
over the years that has dissipated slightly, but i still feel the pangs of loneliness at christmas.
christmas has never been one of my favourite days.
i’m praying that this year will be better.
over recent years i’ve made it a mission to invite friends over to share our family meal.
now i have two GORGEOUS nephews, but i sometimes feel like i am just their babysitter. don’t get me wrong i love them both very much, but to spend most of the family time talking with them can be….depressing.
Now, i’ve had a dignified whinge its time for me to search for a positive….well i guess, it can’t go on forever…
And someday i’ll have my own family and i’ll be able to shape christmas in a way i want for my kids.
If anyone in my family is reading this, please do not feel attacked or hurt, i love you. but you all know i hate being alone.
me being alone is like vegemite on toast without butter….liveable, but there’s something missing…
i’m sure i will find whatever it is that is missing and then i’ll smile.
lovin u
spans
December 16, 2007...10:43 pm
when the day is done
Jump to Comments
